This is the second part of a four-part series exploring ordinary sensory perceptions.
Listen All Around
• 4. Seeing, Hearing, and Feeling
Meditating in complete silence is overrated.
Too much silence can simulate mental activity, making it especially frustrating for newcomers who are seeking stress relief.
The belief that quietness brings peace can, ironically, lead to more agitation than calmness.
Silence sounds appealing
When we imagine peace, we often conjure up quiet places.
There is certainly peace and quiet to be found on hiking trails, beaches, and in libraries, all of which can be very relaxing. However, there’s more happening than just silence. There’s the body moving, the ebb and flow of the surf, and stacks of compelling books that give us something external to help us shift our attention away from our worries to our surroundings.
While it’s true that when our minds settle, the world around us can sound more alive,1 it’s equally true that the closer you listen to external sounds, the quieter your mind can become.
This is why listening to music you love or watching a favorite movie can be soothing even in the complete absence of silence.
Sounds give your attention somewhere to rest
If you’ve ever tried a sensory deprivation tank, you might have been surprised to find that blocking out external stimuli can cause an eruption of vivid mental activity. This is why hotel elevators and dental offices play smooth jazz. Without a bit of bland background music, people often feel restless.
As Musician David Young pointed out, “I think that the reason they want to have music in a funeral home is that the silence lets our mind just be free to run around with whatever thoughts that we have. And if somebody’s in a funeral home, they’re very likely to be having sad thoughts.”2
Mindfulness exercises need to be designed to fit the challenges of having minds and emotions in a world that continuously immerses us in stimulation. For example, when I’m writing, I find that sometimes listening to the sounds of a coffee shop helps me focus.3
The longer I practice and teach mindfulness meditation, the less I understand why beginners are encouraged to practice in silence. Paying attention to the sounds around you can be a powerful exercise for anyone coming to the practice hoping to find ways to respond to their busy minds.
Rather than trying to silence your thoughts, focus on listening to the ordinary noises in your environment.4 This strategy minimizes the attention you spend on your imagination, helping you stay more focused on the sensory details of the present.
Endless practice options
You can practice mindful listening in parks, grocery stores, and coffee shops. You can also do it while listening to music, podcasts, or when important people in your life share stories about their stresses with you.
It can also be fun to practice when groups of people speak a language that you don’t understand, like when you take a bus in a foreign country. You can recreate this phenomenon by watching a few minutes of a movie in a language you don’t understand —without subtitles, of course. Such situations allow you to focus on the rhythm, tone, and musicality of speech rather than the meaning of the words.
For a greater challenge, try the same strategy while listening to the news in a language you speak, but representing a viewpoint that contrasts with yours.5 You can control the source, volume, and duration of the broadcast, allowing you to practice prioritizing the sounds of the report over details of the content.
None of this is easy, but making incremental progress can be remarkably liberating. It’s a long game, and your frequent, brief, and imperfect efforts accumulate in ways that are impossible to predict. Let the exploration be both messy and fascinating.
It takes considerable practice to let the meaning of your thoughts play out in the background of your awareness while you focus on ordinary sensations. However, this is a doable, deeply human skill that becomes a bit easier to develop when you give yourself something to listen to other than the free, twenty-four-hour news feed streaming inside your mind.
If you ever need assistance with this or have a success story to share, please reach out. I’m all ears.
Exercise
This exercise sharpens your ability to hear sounds around you.
Circumstances for learning this attention exercise
Waking up in the middle of the night
Walking the dog
When it’s raining
