The Scarce Resource of Your Attention
Developing grown-up skills for responding to life has never been more important
The most profitable companies in the world rely on our collective lack of regulation skills.
Our technology-enabled pursuit of happiness seems to mostly lead to health problems, attention difficulties, anxiety, and loneliness. The marketplace responds with even more products and services promising to address the issues it helped create — no discipline or self-regulation skills required.
To make matters worse, political campaigns, the news, and social media escalate our distress and capitalize on our divisions under the guise of keeping us better connected and informed.
I am unequipped to talk companies out of their profits. The only part of the attention economy over which I have control is working on my own habitual responses to feeling comfortable and uncomfortable.
Observe sensations and perceptions with less internal interference
I can practice savoring pleasant moments more and wrestling with unpleasant ones less. This sounds easy. In many ways, it is. It’s as easy as getting some physical exercise. I’m able to do it, but I face a lot of internal resistance to actually doing it.
Staying physically fit requires time and a willingness to be uncomfortable as a short-term investment in greater vitality over the long term. Inactivity and the resulting atrophy of my physical well-being are effortless.
It’s the same with attentional fitness.
The key is to practice paying attention to sensations instead of situations. We’re used to experiencing our lives as characters in stories, but every situation is comprised of countless perceptions.
Mindfulness practice invites us to see what’s right in front of us, to hear specific sounds around us, and to literally feel what’s there to be felt in the body.
Most of the time, we default to what insists on our attention. When we’re uncomfortable, we focus on getting rid of the discomfort without paying much attention to how specific discomforts feel.
One of the most liberating things I’ve discovered through consistent mindfulness practice is how savoring pleasant sensations prepares me to observe uncomfortable sensations with less internal interference and escalation.
Erode problematic habits
We’re used to making superficial changes that don’t last. Habitually pausing to observe sensory details — more often than never — supports the slow erosion of habitual regret. It teaches you to spot potential responses.
Real progress happens gradually and without guarantees. We have the rest of our lives to work on this. There’s freedom in letting the ineffective habits we’ve built up erode at their own pace. It’s impossible to imagine, but it can be remarkable to experience the significance of incremental change.
Recognize our shared humanity
Working on our attentional fitness also helps us hold on to our humanity.
Savoring comfortable sensations is easy to forget to do. Observing our confusion, physical discomfort, and emotional pain before habitually reacting to it is counterintuitive. It requires courage and persistence.
This isn’t easy for anyone. We’re in this challenge together, whether we realize it or not. Realizing it helps us ease up on ourselves and each other. We’re constantly reminded of our differences. Mindfulness practice can help keep us in touch with the fundamental humanity we share.
In a culture that encourages us to be perpetual adolescents living reality-show-worthy lives, we can choose to develop liberating grown-up skills for responding to what insists on our attention.
You don’t need to be calm all of the time or clear your mind—ever. You only need to decide what to pay attention to more often than never without rushing to improve it. A little bit of consistent effort and time is all you need.
The invitation to begin, or begin again, remains perpetually open.