One Way to Undermine a Habit
Closely observe some cravings before you respond to them.
We all have habits that we would like to eliminate. These habits are usually ones that we have been cultivating for years. They provide short-term relief and unintentionally become a part of our identities.
I've been coaching a client who has a coffee habit like this. She's not interested in completely giving up coffee. She thoroughly enjoys her morning coffee routine. However, she regrets the high-calorie coffee drinks she’s gotten into the habit of having in the afternoons.
She’s fairly new to mindfulness. She’s liked the guided exercises she’s tried, but formal meditation feels hard because her mind is always racing. Still, she was open to trying anything that might help her resist her usual mid-afternoon trip to the coffee shop.
After some discussion and brainstorming, we came up with this experiment together.
Coffee Craving A/B Test
Sneak a pause into your afternoon coffee routine to (1) notice the specific sensations associated with the craving and (2) explore alternative responses.
Over the next ten days, switch between these two responses to your coffee cravings.
A Days — Indulge Mindfully
A Days — Indulge Mindfully
When you feel the urge for an afternoon coffee, pause for two or three minutes and notice what the craving feels like.
Ask yourself: What’s driving this right now? Am I tired? Low on energy? Feeling stressed, bored, or emotionally off?
Name what’s true in the moment without comparing it against what you think you should be feeling. You might be tired, overstimulated, or simply wanting comfort.
Remind yourself that it makes sense to want relief, comfort, or a boost.
Then consciously order the coffee without wrestling with the decision.
Afterward, notice how you feel. Is there relief? Enjoyment? Regret? A mix of all three?
B Days — Select an Alternative
When you feel the urge for an afternoon coffee, pause for two or three minutes and notice the craving.
Remind yourself: This isn’t about deprivation. It’s about making a conscious choice.
Try a different source of comfort or energy instead.
Notice what kind of relief it gives you and how it compares with coffee.
Pay attention to any small, pleasant sensations and let yourself savor them.
Afterward, notice whether there’s less regret.
Start by creating a list of alternative comforting options to try. Take notes on your attempts to address a problematic habit.
Keep an eye out for subtle, pleasant sensations to savor. This can help counteract the strong allure of immediate gratification from unhealthy or unwanted habits sooner than you might expect.
Remember, being more mindful doesn't always mean feeling relaxed, calm, or at peace. It's about being curious about what it feels like to be alive, regardless of your feelings.
Establishing healthy habits, setting limits, and doing good things for ourselves can be uncomfortable. Embracing the discomfort associated with behaviors we don't regret can be energizing and boost our self-respect.
Give it more time than you think it will take. Make it an ongoing practice and celebrate small wins.
Initial results
During the course of this experiment, she noticed four factors that were heightening her desire for coffee:
Feeling overwhelmed
Feeling fatigued
Wanting to celebrate an accomplishment
Wishing to reward herself for working hard
She was pleasantly surprised to discover how much she enjoyed tea with almond milk as an alternative treat. It had significantly fewer calories, was less expensive, and left no regret. She added this option to her phone app to place her orders, which significantly reduced the time spent deliberating about her choice.
Even though she wasn’t strictly following the A Day with B Day schedule, her usual afternoon coffee frequency decreased to one-third of the original amount when she started the experiment.
Being understaffed at work during a stressful time of year, she was surprised by how effective the strategy was. She found it really useful to take the decision-making process off autopilot.
Leverage hindsight
Mindfulness isn’t only about paying attention in the present.
Reflection helps us spot ways to tweak our strategies in the future.
Hindsight grows into foresight as we become better at predicting the short- and long-term consequences of our habitual actions.
Make mindfulness personal
Do you have a habit or behavior that you frequently regret?
How could you set up an experiment to change your responses to the triggers or cravings associated with that habit?
If you decide to give it a try, I would love to hear about it.